Tuesday 6 December 2016

Creature From The Deep

Read Gabrielle's amazing narrative inspired by the image below


W.A.L.T: Write a satisfying ending to a narrative

It came from the sea, calmly at first. An enormous, slithering tentacle slowly oozing its way over the top of the sea wall, exploring the metal and concrete shapes with suckers the size of your front door.
Then, as more and more people came, and shrieks and cries of alarm filled the air, the creature became angry. All hell broke loose…
In an almighty tangle of limbs and water and buildings and people, the beast came violently exploding out of the frothing water. The normally sturdy metal supports of the buildings groaned under the extreme weight of the gigantic tentacles crushing them. Panic. Complete panic set in.
But where had the creature come from? What did it want? How could anybody stop it?
With all the whacking and splashing soon the whole city would be gone. There were barely any of the navy left. The sea monster was an intruder, a murderer. Salty sea water splashed everywhere as he rose up and thumped himself down again. I could not believe what was happening. Screams of devastation came from every direction. The kraken's eye appeared to be spying on us all. His arms tried to squash people everywhere they went. Navy boats sped in as fast as they could. Gun’s, spear’s, dagger’s! all of this was so overwhelming with all the banging and rampaging it was a total nightmare   
The planes in the sky came crashing down like they were boy’s toys being thrown around. Ships in the sea were being capsized under the weight of enormous waves. Car alarms and sirens were going off as the cars were washed clean off the roads and bridges. People were pulling and pushing to make their way out of the chaos. With all the pushing and shoving people kept on falling into the water, drowning, suffering.
There were life boats surrounding the broken city, life savers were handing out life jackets and loading people on to the boats. Soon all that was left of the city was rocks and glass, lifeless bodies lay still on the broken and tattered ground. Was this the end?...  

4 comments:

  1. This is one amazing piece of writing, Gabby! I love how you used a cliff hanger to add some thrill (it's also my favourite ending to writing pieces too!). You used great similies and adjectives to make your writing piece more powerful. I would love to hear more pieces of writing like this from you.. :)

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  2. This is one amazing piece of writing, Gabby! I love how you used a cliff hanger to add some thrill (it's also my favourite ending to writing pieces too!). You used great similies and adjectives to make your writing piece more powerful. I would love to hear more pieces of writing like this from you.. :)

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  3. Fantastic Job Gabby!
    I liked the way you ended your writing on a cliffhanger.
    Next time you may like to proofread to fix the tiny mistakes.
    Ka Pai!

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  4. This piece of writing is amazing, Gabby! I like the way you left the story to finish on a cliffhanger. Ka Rawe!

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